


Subtlety Is An Art We Do Not Possess

by TintedPink



Series: Lysa Does Something Stupid [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-25 21:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18171752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TintedPink/pseuds/TintedPink
Summary: Original Prompt: Upscale Party Couple AU (established) - IronStrangeWhat it ended up being: Tony and Stephen crash parties together. They’re very good at it, until they’re not.





	Subtlety Is An Art We Do Not Possess

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a prompt I gave myself and I still didn’t follow it. I guess consider this a warning if you send prompts, I’m very bad at following them apparently.

Tony Stark has never crashed a party in his life. He’s been invited to every party he’s ever attended, sometimes the party throwers just didn’t know they’d invited him. Tony was good at blending in with a crowd, constructing aliases was his forte. He could bullshit with the very best of them, and had never been kicked out of a single event… until he met Stephen.

Stephen was good, no doubt about it. He rivaled even Tony for his ability to make the most ridiculous things sound believable, and that was the problem.

The first time Tony met Stephen it was at a yacht party that barely made Tony’s radar until he heard that the security was extra tight. Tony took tight security as a personal challenge to his creativity, and he loved the rush of getting around it enough to crash an okay-ish yacht party instead of the upscale charity ball he’d had his eye on.

To hear Stephen tell it, Tony only crashed that party because Stephen had crashed it first, but to hear Tony tell it, it was the other way around. They still argue about that when the truth is neither of them had any idea the other was there until they bumped into each other. They could both spot another party crasher from a mile away, but Stephen and Tony were particularly skilled party crashers that usually didn’t get caught crashing, not by the people who threw the party, and not by other crashers. So when Stephen started chatting Tony up, though Stephen claims Tony started the chatting up, Tony started pushing the envelope, each thinking the other was being entirely sincere in their claims of experience, riches, and various celebrity bed partners. They would have gotten away with it, and probably been the people the party was best remembered for, if one of the people they were each claiming as bed partners hadn’t been right there and overheard the whole thing.

They got thrown out of that party, and Stephen blamed Tony for breaking his perfect record while Tony blamed Stephen for breaking his twelve party streak. The only thing either of them had to blame was their huge egos for that and for everything that happened after.

Tony taunted Stephen with an impossible to crash party. Invitation only, exclusive, 50,000 dollars a plate kind of exclusive, and Stephen goaded Tony back, claiming that he couldn’t crash that party either. Neither of them could back down from the challenge, so they both tried, Tony by claiming to be a plus one and Stephen by stealing someone’s invitation and using it to get in. When it was time to be seated they weren’t just able to take any seat, each seat had a name tag and the waiters were coming around to test everyone seated against a list of faces. Stephen and Tony were screwed and they both knew it. Their eyes instinctively sought each other out across the room, and they glared at each other.

They’d both gotten in, but neither of them was going to stay in. Now it was just a game of chicken to see who would leave first. Tony sure as hell wasn’t going to leave, and neither was Stephen. So they chatted up their table and watched each other as the waiters came around to ensure that attendees were who they said they were. Tony’s waiter was fast approaching, and Tony, knowing that he was more than likely going to be the first one spotted, decided to play a little bit dirty. He got up as the waiter was on their way to the table, and smiled at him, kind of tightly, like a dissatisfied rich person might if they smelled something awful, like a poor person.

“Excuse me, sir. I know the man who’s supposed to be sitting in that chair, and it’s not the man currently sitting in it. Please do something about that.” He put on his best irritated face and the waiter, rather than bowing to Tony’s performance, looked entirely nonplussed.

“Of course, sir. While I have you here, can I get your name to confirm attendance.”

“No, you can’t, because I need to pee. I was at that table over there,” he points vaguely in the direction of a table with several empty seats. “I’m going to the bathroom, you deal with that.”

Tony walked away and he winked at Stephen. Stephen glared back as the waiter headed in his direction. Tony ducked into the bathroom for a minute and when he came out Stephen was gone and guards were hovering around the place where he’d been sitting. Shit. Tony turned and made a dash for the back exit, only to be met by none other than Stephen Strange.

“You snitched.”

“Well apparently so did you,” Tony says, glancing over his shoulder at the guards.

“Oh, please, they would have found you out anyway, but I had a chance. The guy who’s invite I stole, I could have passed for his son. I could’ve made it.”

“And yet you didn’t. Bummer.” Tony glanced back over his shoulder again and winced at the approaching guards. “I think we better get out of here.”  
Stephen’s eyes followed his gaze. “Well, far be it from me to stay when I’m not wanted. Come on, I had an exit plan.”

“Exit plans are for failures.”

“Exit plans are for people who don’t have the money to bail themselves out of jail, trust fund baby.”

“It’s not a trust fund.” Tony grumbled, and he didn’t know how Stephen _knew_ about that, but he didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Stephen didn’t care about Tony’s response, grabbing his hand and dragging him away from the back entrance Tony had been heading to. Tony ran after him without thinking, tugged by Stephen’s grip on his hand. Once security saw them running they realized that Tony and Stephen were definitely party crashers and they pursued. Rude.

“They’re following us.” Tony told Stephen as they ran and Stephen huffed, in part from the running, in part from exasperation.

“Well they’re not going to stop just because you’re watching them. Hurry up.”

“Hey, you’ve got freakishly long legs,” they dodge a waiter and then duck into an empty hallway. “Don’t tell me to hurry up.”

“My legs are a normal size, you’re just freakishly short.”

“I’m of average height!” Tony said indignantly, too loudly, because suddenly they could both hear men speaking over walkie talkies getting too close.

“Quick, in here,” Stephen pushed open the nearest door, which turned out to be a broom closet, and shoved Tony inside and then closed the door behind them.

They stood there quietly as they listened for security to pass. Neither of them even risked breathing loudly until they were sure they were gone. When they stopped straining their ears and started looking at each other neither of them could help laughing. One of Tony’s hands gripped Stephen’s shoulder to keep himself upright, and Stephen couldn’t find it in himself to push it away.

“I think we’re clear.” Stephen said when they were winding down.

“Was this your escape plan?”

“No, you ruined it with your short legs.”

Tony punched Stephen in the shoulder. “You’re a freak of nature. WHat are you, six seven?”

“Six feet even.” Stephen rolled his eyes and peeked his head out the door. “Come on, before they start searching in earnest.”

“No one says earnest anymore.”

Stephen rolls his eyes before leaving the closet. “Alright. Let’s go.”

Tony grumbled but followed.

-

The next weekend Tony and Stephen decided to crash a party together, figuring it was better not to work against each other. This party and every party since, ended much like the first, with them trying to one up each other until everyone knew they had to be lying, but at a certain point it had stopped being about the parties and started being about showing each other up. It got to a point where they were so notorious that they had to leave New York to find a party where people didn’t recognize them. The fun wasn’t in crashing the parties anymore, it was in shocking the most people with their antics. It became like bonding. Neither of them ever successful crashed even the most casual of parties after that, but they were perfectly content to make their own fun.

They even got kicked out of their own bachelor party, mostly because the people who had thrown it for them had no idea what it was. They cackled the entire way back to their apartment and got married a week later, attending a party they weren’t kicked out of for the first time since they’d met.

Until Tony took his tux off.

They even managed to get kicked out of their own wedding reception, and it was hilarious.

Pepper kept the pictures.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr Post](https://iwritefanficsometimes.tumblr.com/post/181825188324/subtly-is-an-art-that-we-do-not-possess)  
> This was originally posted to a [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17232671/chapters/40599314) oneshot compilation. Once all the oneshots from that work have been posted individually and have been up for a week, I will delete that work.  
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://iwritefanficsometimes.tumblr.com)


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